Finding some worth to it all.1 foot in front of the othere!!

So your decked out thinking your clock card is just about  to get stamped. Then just have this full on moment with yourself 1.You Bastar* you short changed your kids a daddy 2.So what did you actually do with life 3.What kind of mess are you leaving behind-for your family and what willbe there memories of you.Without getting to out there it had to be one of the most clear moments in my life.A clean case of what actually maters.On a selfish level i could have thrown my cards in and still feal like i have had the full ride!I have NEVER just let life come to me .I grabbed it no mater what it was and always took it to the next level .But when you have two kids it’s no longer about you  !

More scans !so now there it is one in the head.Then full body scans ALL CLEAR(that was no fun doing thoes scans) ,MY BLOOD IS GOOD so i just have to get the head sorted.Thanks to a large does of DEXAMETHASONE The wheels are in motion.

This is where things kind of get F$£c*ed up I left Portsmouth to go home for two weeks before the next scans in southhampton.I dont know if its the drugs but i think i must of been round every coridoor of my mine backwards now trying to eork it all out and thats when it all gets to much and you just have to put one in front of the othere and DONT !! THINK !! Just do stuff.

The only problem is the stuff your doing is packing up your life and sorting all your shit.

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