Archive for July, 2008


Wednesday, July 30th, 2008

SO MUCH LOVE Some of the think people have done for me have been incredible and i will Honor your Generosity and kindness from Family and Friend and surfboard shapers,These guys are doing me There best work of art to be placed on a stand to inspire me to get well and just to see what a piece of Hand created Surfboard art should be.Dripping with history, finished with love.And shaped with soul. Boards like that can do things to you..

For me this has been Emotional and i have worked out allot in my head so i am ready for what will come next with a positive look so Hopefully i will see you all around soon 3 hours until the op



The roller coaster

Tuesday, July 29th, 2008

I have never had so much time to just take it all in and work it all out.Maybe it’s The Drugs but I have never sean things clearer (ELIMINATE THE BULLSHIT)to get to what actually maters. Its pritty Harsh packing your life up and sorting through the wreckage.BUT THEN !!!!!!

More scans and i met the Surgeon Hopefully he is the man,He was surprised i hadn’t Drowned through cesures due to the pressure in my head he then ran me through my options and what was the best for me.Basically there going to open up my head and remove as much as possible and nuke the rest so long as they’t remove to much of my brain i should be back.I will never be back the way iw as this ride has been to Revelational It almost feals like some one just came up and turned you on.So Many things to do,Build ,and be  JUST GOT TO GET PAST THIS IN ONE PEICE  AND IMPLEMENT THE PLAN BECAUSE I AM NOT MESSING ANYMORE !!

Maybe i have had to much time to over Analise sht around me but one thing is clear there’s lot of it.

Finding some worth to it all.1 foot in front of the othere!!

Monday, July 28th, 2008

So your decked out thinking your clock card is just about  to get stamped. Then just have this full on moment with yourself 1.You Bastar* you short changed your kids a daddy 2.So what did you actually do with life 3.What kind of mess are you leaving behind-for your family and what willbe there memories of you.Without getting to out there it had to be one of the most clear moments in my life.A clean case of what actually maters.On a selfish level i could have thrown my cards in and still feal like i have had the full ride!I have NEVER just let life come to me .I grabbed it no mater what it was and always took it to the next level .But when you have two kids it’s no longer about you  !

More scans !so now there it is one in the head.Then full body scans ALL CLEAR(that was no fun doing thoes scans) ,MY BLOOD IS GOOD so i just have to get the head sorted.Thanks to a large does of DEXAMETHASONE The wheels are in motion.

This is where things kind of get F$£c*ed up I left Portsmouth to go home for two weeks before the next scans in southhampton.I dont know if its the drugs but i think i must of been round every coridoor of my mine backwards now trying to eork it all out and thats when it all gets to much and you just have to put one in front of the othere and DONT !! THINK !! Just do stuff.

The only problem is the stuff your doing is packing up your life and sorting all your shit.

Well I didn’t see That comming !What can i say ??????????

Saturday, July 26th, 2008

So I have been running around like an idiot for the last few months with a few Sharpe headaches.put it down to many things like water,coffee,Hangover on and on.Then had a strange Techno in my head no ipod on experience But just kind of put that down to the late 80 acid house days,Well ended up in a bush pucking had a kip and was fine went windsurfing ect then went off to do the China Thailand stuffthats when things got abit funky at the airport .Classic your waiting for you bags and you get 80’s techno playing in your head feeling sick and dissyand standing  in front of CUSTOMs.Managed to keep it together IMMAGINE that had the glove writen all over it LUCKY  escape. Got Home and had a new theory I had stopped smocking and was doing the gum patch thing,so it must be all to do with that,Saw the DR he packed me off for some nurofen and i was on the water that afternoon.I landed one loop on the pole kit and thought i had AXED MY HEAD IN TWO !!

I thenWent Down Cornwall the next day was really good surf and sunny,I DID 3 HOURS IN THE MORNIG AND 3 IN THE EV then had a meltdown puking and head splitting in two etc i thought it was heat ex or the water was crap.BasicalyCaroline had to drive us home with me pucking and winging.Got home but i was F%Ked maybe a day or so after that it was  mias birthday and she was having a party kids everywhere and her loser dad layingaround  all messed up ! It was at this point very obvious i was going to Hozzibut only because of my mum and wife i was still in man denial mode?????

I hate Hospitals because they scar the S$^ out off me Get past the AE desk and then it was Full steam ahead with tests and stuff.Basically had a load of scans and then get told i had a Brain TUMA I mean what do you say to that??.The only way the start was made easy was that they removed the pain !The staff at the Hospital wher AMAZING !!